Decisions Encore! :-)


The last “Thought of the Day” was on decisions. I did want to take this a bit higher and heavier than usual for here by posing a question. If you could, would you hand pick/pick out different parents than you have/ had? I am going to assume for the most part that if you are reading this particular little spot in cyber space, your parents are not. While I welcome all the readers (as all authors do!), it just stands by sheer reason that it is unlikely it is a safe place to answer that question even if it is in the confines of your own mind. Both of my parents are gone. I just lost the last of my Grandma’s siblings right before Thanksgiving. God gave me such a gift by allowing me a wonderful visit with her when I ironically was back home, in California, mid September for my Mothers memorial. Therefore, I could truly answer this question with no real worry of  ‘hurting’ anyone. Most people that know anything about me know there were nearly lifelong ‘issues’ with my Mom and issues of with my Dad of not ‘rescuing’ me from the ‘issues’. It probably makes no sense (unless you know the exact situation), and that is OK because I am very much with my ‘new’ counselor in the thought of concentrating on the hear and now and the future while not getting stuck in the past.

So, would I hand pick Mike and Carol Brady? Well, after reading “Growing Up Brady” many years ago, I know know the actor behind Mike lived a life of lies because he was gay and back in the 1960’s (unless you were Rock Hudson), that meant the death of your career (I am relaying info, not saying it was ‘right’ because it was NOT!). Carol Brady dated Greg in real life. Now he was 18…. barely…. and they only had a few dates…. however……My point is, the only ‘normal’ thing about the Bradys was; NOTHING!

No, I would not have had ANY other parents than Gary and Carol (‘nee Ivester) Coleman Bates. My Dad taught me so much. He taught me that as shy and awkward (I do not think I have a graceful bone in my body and I really am shy under all this !), that I can talk to anyone, anywhere. I remember how he used to sit on the floor and play dress up with my girls while I would sit on his big leather couch and ‘veg out’. They would dress him up in their “Princess clothes”, complete with crown and all.  Now I sit with my granddaughter and do the same. I wouldn’t have it any other way! He never asked me for anything gift wise…. except for his yearly ration of fudge. And I guess I should have said no because of his diabetes. I just did not have the heart.

My Mom taught me the art of giving the most kick-butt birthday party on the most limited of funds. Before things got really bad, they were really good. The year we went to girl scout camp……to earn our camping badge……. at Avila Beach, CA (and got car sick and threw up in the backseat of my dear friend Sheila Mom’s car), my Mom spent that weekend making Barbie Doll clothes. I would get them on my next birthday. The thing that has me in awe of that is I have zero patience with fiddly little things like that. I don’t do not know how she handled making all those clothes, including a bridal gown, complete with train, with sequins sewn on by hand. The one thing I do know about my Mom is this; if nothing else, her heart was always in the right place. Sure, she usually acted in situations that put ‘her’ first. But one thing a 12 year old….not wanting to change schools….. amplifies, is how everything ‘affected’ her. I am sure some of the ‘horrible’ and ‘miserable’ things I remember, I am over-blowing just a bit.

I reckon we all want perfect, or as near to perfect parents as possible. Parents are people, nonetheless, and people are human. It is so easy to ‘rag out’ on our parents for this and that and that and this. Less we forget that our parents loved us at times when we were, perhaps, a little trying to love (at least I know I was)? Last but the very least, God gave the ultimate sacrifice. Yet, no matter how much we may (or may not, on the flip side) disappoint Him, aren’t you glad He loves us when we are not always easy to love?

Finally, it has taken me a long….. a very long….. time to like the Kelli I am today. Decisions. Nope….. I do like who I am today. Although that has taken prayer, counseling and a lot of determination, one thing is certain; I would not be who I am if I had not had the parents I had. So thank you Mom and Dad. In a society that likes to hen-peck every mistake we make, this time around, I am just going to say….Thank you. Until next time, K.

The song for today is about decisions. It is by the MOST AWESOME! Dave Matthews Band: “The Space Between”




















This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.