Both Sides Now

  Just over a year ago, when I had to file for my disability, my husband and I became OINKS, One Income, “No Kids”. What I mean by “No kids” is, in our case, our kids (my four girls) are all grown and self sufficient. Going from DINKS (Double Income, “No Kids”), to OINKS meant even more money crunching than we were already trying to do. Besides being down to one income, my medical costs were getting worse (hence, when the question ‘where the money go’ pops up and your co pays for your medications are $200 and, in fact you quit taking some of them because you just cannot afford it, let the ones who question walk in your shoes).  We did the obvious; move into town (lower living and gas costs), 10 minutes from Paul’s work, downsized to one car…. one reliable car (yes, this means a car note, but the car is not in the shop every other month with $200+ in repairs). Also, our car gets great gas mileage which means with our 30+ MPG (in town) along with our reward points we used through Kroger (sometimes getting up to seventy cents a gallon off!), we really save in this most important time of all, fuel wise. Also car insurance is one car only!

We also did not opt to get a land line when we moved. The only reason we had it in the ‘country’ is that there was no option for high speed internet. That is obviously not the problem now. There are many things I have learned to do to cut cost. I am happy to share some:

1. We invested in cloth napkins (inexpensive, not fancy). I do a load of laundry nearly everyday, and even if I don’t, there are 12 napkins so plenty for 2 -3 days for Paul and I. If it is a holiday, I make sure they are all washed up. If there is a lot of people, I will splurge and buy paper, but I invested in 12 cloth and think they have already paid for themselves three times over!

2. Make your own ice! We invested in a couple of ice trays which were $1.10 a piece. Though I buy water bottled (but will be investing in a Brita pitcher this payday), I just pour the drinking water into the ice trays and keep them going throughout the day. It takes seconds and saves loads of money as well as natural resources.

3. Dryer Sheets! They make them too big! You do not need all that ‘power’ in one punch. I cut mine in half. I have rarely had any issue with cling. So if it says 80 sheets, you really get 160 and so on. Same with detergent; only use about 2/3 of what it calls for. They have you over use on purpose. I heard this on a talk show years ago but never acted on it. I decided to give it a try and our clothes come out just as clean and static free.

4. Scan the meat section/ whatever you buy ‘a lot of ‘/ staples for mark downs. Here is a good example. Paul and I like both ground turkey and ground chuck. We happened to come across two GIANT tubes of ground chuck that was still 3 days shy of its best by date. It was 1/2 price. So we got sixteen pounds of ground chuck for $16.oo. Obviously we split it out and froze it when we got home, however, we had enough hamburger for weeks! It felt like we hit the lottery!

5. Don’t over buy, especially produce! We used to throw things out and I hated it! We decided to shop two to three times a week, especially for produce.

6 ALWAYS compare unit price!!!!! Sometimes the bulk is NOT the best buy! I also shop the ads and plan my menu according to them. Chicken breasts (bone in) were on special this last week at Kroger, so Paul and I are having a lot of chicken this week! 😀

7. Shop clearance racks and thrift stores! Some of the cutest things I have were bought for just a few dollars! Also buy things that can mix and match! You will be thrilled at the number of outfits you can get when you play with different colors! 🙂

8. Painful as it may be, you may have to have a “come to the river” meeting with yourself. I did and realized I was spending a lot of money on diet cola. So I decided, while one or two a day is OK, six is not so much. I have worked hard to get down to one or two a day and those that know me well should be proud of me! 😉 I now supplement with iced herbal tea and enjoy it very much!

I will add more hints as I think of them!

The song for today…. a long time favorite that goes WAY back, in honor of “saving for a rainy day”, the rainy Saturday morning I woke up to and my sunny home-state 🙂 :

Until next time, K.

Sorry for the break. I try for at  least 5 new posts a week. I had a near life-long (since 7th grade) friend visit over the weekend. It was wonderful. We have both lived in various places all over the USA but have always managed to keep in touch.

I was not quite sure how I would ‘do’ with my fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome being so bad now. People have two reactions to these conditions 1. Just push yourself; quit being negative (I am actually, at times as my husband Paul agrees, like a grown up version of the character “Sue” in the show “The Middle”). I am a geek…. an optimist who thinks, “Everyone is just so nice, etc”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tZ-dZWHzoQ

That is who I really am, inside….. an eternal optimist that likes most people. So I am far from being negative. 2. People who completely understand, see what tole its taken on me and are fine with it. Understanding. Patient.

It was with that idea that when Paul and I got into ‘this’ conversation…. again….. about people that do not ‘like you for no particular reason, than not to like you’. I tried to put the shoe on the other foot, and told Paul if someone I did not like asked me, I would be honest. Now I am not talking about ex’s or obvious dislikes. I am talking about people we have to co exist with. Do you know I could not think of ANYONE in  my life right now that I flat out DO NOT like. The closest I could get was one person who can ‘annoy’ me a bit. And I don’t even see this person that much. However, if this person came to me and wanted honesty as to why they annoyed me, I would tell them in a nice and constructive way. So when talking to Paul about someone who really does not know me, has never really taken time to get to know me and pretty much treats me like I am non existent when I am around them, he says I will never ‘get an answer’. Look, like me; don’t like me. However, if you do NOT like someone, at least give them the decency of a reason. Just my opinion, for what it is worth.

My friend who was here (paraphrase) stated she only keeps a few close friends and the rest she cannot be bothered with. I think of our friends that we really consider friends and it is so true. One thing I do know is my friend is a true friend. She was OK with the fact that I had to take a nap Friday and Saturday. She was more than ok, she was like a sister….. about ready to pound me to sit down as the ‘Italian mother’ in me was trying to feed everyone and make sure everyone had everything they needed. See true friends, and family that love you unconditionally accept that you are not perfect. They forgive you when you apologize with a sincere heart. Most important, they embrace you when you need a soft place to fall! They also understand when you are not running at 100%. I am so thankful to have a friend like that in my life and other friends too…. a handful… they know who they are 🙂 but they are amazing and wonderful!

Song of the day, very appropriate! I just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this little diddy! It is uplifting and happy! It makes me want to get up and dance about!  We need more peace in the world. We need more forgiveness. We need more caring. We need Care, Compassion and true, unconditional LOVE.

Until next time. K.

     Polka Dots! They are just so…. HAPPY! Yes, happy. Bouncy. Invigorating. When you sing to the song, you follow the bouncing ball which is really a polka dot in disguise! Can you imagine singing Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway To Heaven” while following a bouncing ball/polka dot! =:-O

Wanting a generic ‘door hanger’ (you know, for the time of year that ‘nothing’ is going on), I embarked on my quest and my first invention was born. From there the ideas just flooded in like a river! The only thing that remains the same is that no two creations are exactly the same! Paul was so dazzled by the door hanger, we are keeping it for our indoor and alas, I will make another ‘generic’ (out) door hanger. The sky is really the limit. Picture frames, trinket boxes, etc. It does not have to be dots; it can be shells or stars or squares or an eclectic mixture. Color schemes are nearly infinite. I found three basics for the ribbon and added my two favorite colors (sea foam green and coral), also added a pretty baby blue and went from there. If interested, contact me and let me know what you have in mind! 🙂 It can be simple ranging from $5 to totally elaborate and I will work with you on cost to make it as low as possible.

A song of the day that goes PERFECT with polka dots is this little diddy straight from Ireland. There is this competition called “Eurovision”. Paul introduced me to this bouncy little love balled many moons ago. Dana was actually from Northern Ireland which is part of the United Kingdom, but……. in 1970 (this was BIG schtuff back in the day), they ‘let her’ compete for the “Republic of Ireland” as they decided the ‘island’ of Ireland could compete as a separate unit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Kinds_of_Everything

So enjoy a sweet song, “All Kinds of Everything” by Dana

The last “Thought of the Day” was on decisions. I did want to take this a bit higher and heavier than usual for here by posing a question. If you could, would you hand pick/pick out different parents than you have/ had? I am going to assume for the most part that if you are reading this particular little spot in cyber space, your parents are not. While I welcome all the readers (as all authors do!), it just stands by sheer reason that it is unlikely it is a safe place to answer that question even if it is in the confines of your own mind. Both of my parents are gone. I just lost the last of my Grandma’s siblings right before Thanksgiving. God gave me such a gift by allowing me a wonderful visit with her when I ironically was back home, in California, mid September for my Mothers memorial. Therefore, I could truly answer this question with no real worry of  ‘hurting’ anyone. Most people that know anything about me know there were nearly lifelong ‘issues’ with my Mom and issues of with my Dad of not ‘rescuing’ me from the ‘issues’. It probably makes no sense (unless you know the exact situation), and that is OK because I am very much with my ‘new’ counselor in the thought of concentrating on the hear and now and the future while not getting stuck in the past.

So, would I hand pick Mike and Carol Brady? Well, after reading “Growing Up Brady” many years ago, I know know the actor behind Mike lived a life of lies because he was gay and back in the 1960’s (unless you were Rock Hudson), that meant the death of your career (I am relaying info, not saying it was ‘right’ because it was NOT!). Carol Brady dated Greg in real life. Now he was 18…. barely…. and they only had a few dates…. however……My point is, the only ‘normal’ thing about the Bradys was; NOTHING!

No, I would not have had ANY other parents than Gary and Carol (‘nee Ivester) Coleman Bates. My Dad taught me so much. He taught me that as shy and awkward (I do not think I have a graceful bone in my body and I really am shy under all this !), that I can talk to anyone, anywhere. I remember how he used to sit on the floor and play dress up with my girls while I would sit on his big leather couch and ‘veg out’. They would dress him up in their “Princess clothes”, complete with crown and all.  Now I sit with my granddaughter and do the same. I wouldn’t have it any other way! He never asked me for anything gift wise…. except for his yearly ration of fudge. And I guess I should have said no because of his diabetes. I just did not have the heart.

My Mom taught me the art of giving the most kick-butt birthday party on the most limited of funds. Before things got really bad, they were really good. The year we went to girl scout camp……to earn our camping badge……. at Avila Beach, CA (and got car sick and threw up in the backseat of my dear friend Sheila Mom’s car), my Mom spent that weekend making Barbie Doll clothes. I would get them on my next birthday. The thing that has me in awe of that is I have zero patience with fiddly little things like that. I don’t do not know how she handled making all those clothes, including a bridal gown, complete with train, with sequins sewn on by hand. The one thing I do know about my Mom is this; if nothing else, her heart was always in the right place. Sure, she usually acted in situations that put ‘her’ first. But one thing a 12 year old….not wanting to change schools….. amplifies, is how everything ‘affected’ her. I am sure some of the ‘horrible’ and ‘miserable’ things I remember, I am over-blowing just a bit.

I reckon we all want perfect, or as near to perfect parents as possible. Parents are people, nonetheless, and people are human. It is so easy to ‘rag out’ on our parents for this and that and that and this. Less we forget that our parents loved us at times when we were, perhaps, a little trying to love (at least I know I was)? Last but the very least, God gave the ultimate sacrifice. Yet, no matter how much we may (or may not, on the flip side) disappoint Him, aren’t you glad He loves us when we are not always easy to love?

Finally, it has taken me a long….. a very long….. time to like the Kelli I am today. Decisions. Nope….. I do like who I am today. Although that has taken prayer, counseling and a lot of determination, one thing is certain; I would not be who I am if I had not had the parents I had. So thank you Mom and Dad. In a society that likes to hen-peck every mistake we make, this time around, I am just going to say….Thank you. Until next time, K.

The song for today is about decisions. It is by the MOST AWESOME! Dave Matthews Band: “The Space Between”

Scroll……………………………………………………………………..

Scroll…………………………………………………

Scroll……………………….

It was Plato that said, “Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.”

Imagine your favorite movies without the music. It would just not be the same. Even Beethoven, one of the greatest composers of all time, was deaf. A deaf man, knowing how important music is. I think that speaks for itself.

We all have a song that we could hit rewind over and over again and never tire of. It speaks to the bottom of our gut and hits at the greatest depth of our soul. We, in many cases, cannot even explain why. Is it the music? Occasionally. Usually, however, it is the music and the lyrics that come together to become that one perfect song that you never tire of. It usually is not your very favorite song, but you claim it as your own. It is the first song you run to when you are having a bad day, and the song you put on repeat in the car when you just want to zone out and think.  What song puts you in that mood? For me it is “Low Mans Lyric” by Metallica. I, of course, am picking out a live version (with maximum Hetfield coverage) 0-:-)  And YES, for goodness gracious….. Paul has my heart a million times over…. every bit of it. So, enjoy “Low Mans Lyric”, my ultimate ‘mood’ song. For those that DO NOT like metal, don’t worry…. it IS a ballad sort of song. What is YOUR mood song? I would sure love to know! Until next time……. K.

Decisions. We make them everyday. Should I wear long sleeves or short sleeves? Should I fill the tank before or after work? Butter on my scone; let me see just how tight my favorite jeans feel.

This little bit of cyber-space will never get too deep. That means when my book is finished and ready to go, you will just have to buy it! 🙂 I fully intend on making my dreams come true but I have to get some things in sync here first, including my own issues with chronic pain.

So decisions and chronic pain… what do they have to do with each other? While clearly kicking myself in the backside for not just ordering double scampi at Red Lobster when using a gift card  is not a decision that is going to make Planet Earth collide with its Moon, some other decisions are very important. One such decisions are Doctors. These people, depending on what they are doing, can literally, have your very life in your hands. I find it so sad that two really upsetting things had to transpire for me to realize I really needed to change one of my Doctors.  I heard it said, just in the last few weeks, always get a second opinion for anything out of the ordinary or big that any Doctor suggest. Same true if they can’t ‘get you well’ or ‘can’t find’ what the problem is. “We” as in most of the rest of us, are paying for their expensive cars and country club dues. If they are confident, they will not mind. I know like I know that when I had my ‘partial’ nearly two years ago, if I had approached Dr. Gus (Gustafson) and said, “Hey, Dr. Gus, I am going to get a second opinion for this bag of rocks I have in me.”  I know…. with every fiber….. he would have smiled that big, bright smile and would have said, “Of course! I understand!”. I have learned much in the art of decision making when it comes to Doctors. As for other decisions. We make them… everyday…. some big, some small. Make them wise.

Having said all this, my song of the day is “Someone Like You” by Adele

Try to think outside the box on this one. Don’t just think ‘spurned lover’…. just try…. this can be about more than just “Love-Life” relationships. Until next time. K.

I was starting to regain my hope in humanity, then a Doctor came along and quickly plummeted me back into reality.
>:-(

For today the song of the day is a ‘mad’ song. What is a ‘mad’ song? A mad song, for me, are ones by “Godsmack”, “Linkin Park”, “Korn” (yes! From my hometown of Bakersfield), etc, etc…. hey, for some, “The Beatles” may be extreme, and that is ok! Anyway, your ‘extreme’ band, cranked up loud. I did this a million times when I worked at the call centers on my near 1 hour commute home. Yes, I know how old I am. No, I make no apologies.

I am sharing a great ‘mad’ song. However, out of courtesy to my friends that do not like swear words and/or kids under certain ages, I am sharing the EDITED version so the end rant and a few words at the beginning are missing. No fear, if you know this song, you know where to find it. If you somehow, have never heard the unedited version…. you know where to find it.
If you are having a mad day, I hope it gets better.
Until next time…. K.

As predicted, the gowns were pretty… well, most were. The hair was up, except Gweneth Paltrow who wore a ponytail. Why would the other half of my favorite bands lead singer singer sink a wad of money into a gorgeous gown, have flawless and stunning makeup only to pull her hair in (a neat, but still….) a ponytail? Even the up-dos were less then impressive. *Shrugs* I am working so hard to grow my hair long. I mean… L*O*N*G. When it is the length I want it to be, I am not going to get it there just to … put it up? That makes no sense to me. And one other thing! The acceptance speech limits should be the same whether you are a veteran actor in your eighties winning for the first time or a well deserving underdog who is humbled to the point that you are in tears. Finally! Yay for the “Wee Guys”

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/northern-ireland/oscars-2012-belfasts-terry-george-wins-award-for-the-shore-16123080.html

Say Yay! For my hubby’s homeland! 🙂

And while we are on the subject of my hubby, how about “our” song being the song of the day. Now, that would normally be a problem as when we had an ocean between us, we used to make each other CD’s. We have several songs that are ‘ours’. But the #1…. the absolute ‘hit it on the head’…. the BIG KAHUNA of songs…our perfect song

Enjoy and to add, Paul was AT this concert, so he and 60,000 other people… give or take…. were singing background. And of course Mr. James Hetfield is lead vocals 😀

Metallica, “Nothing Else Matters”

Horray for HOLLYWOOD! Today… it is officially after midnight in California as I sit up with day 2 of one of my famous cluster migraines. I really must address this issue further but have so many other things to deal with health wise that migraines I have been getting since age 10 with and that sometimes stop for months on end and re occur and can last nearly a week at times, seem to be low of the list.

Today the gowns are going to shine, the hair is going up and the speeches will rudely be interrupted by the orchestra playing louder and louder and LOUDER. It is the Superbowl of Hollywood!

As I sit here eating my vegie wrap on a whole wheat tortilla, trying to regain some control over this raging headache so I can sleep (even if means sleeping sitting up), I reflect on what my thought for the day is and though I rarely like to do ‘cross-overs’ between my blogs, I am going to put this simple thought out there: There are so, so….. SO many people who live in chronic pain. Most of our family and friends ‘know’ we have something that makes us hurt. However, unless you are the primary caregiver or the person yourself, you probably don’t really know how bad it can be. I was up 3 hours in the night last night which messed up my whole day as I slept way too late once I finally got to sleep. And here I sit again. I have been awake for nearly 3 hours again tonight/this early morning. 🙁 We have our own ‘closed’ groups online so our loved ones do not consider us ‘complainers’. And no, we do not sit in there and throw pity parties. However, if you are having a rough day/week/month, etc., you are free to vent and talk about it without fear of judgement. So, if you have someone in your life who you know deals with pain, give them an Oscar because I can nearly 100% guarantee you they are putting on a brave face….. a great act for you and everyone else as not to be considered a “Debbie Downer”.

My song of the day…. well my all time #1 Favorite movie is “It’s A Wonderful Life” and since that ended with “Hark the Herald”, I think I will skip that or my headache (and my nerves) will plummet out of control. So, one of my five all time favorite movies is “The Big Chill”. Made in the mid 1980’s with an ensemble cast of big names or rising big names and playing a very large part in how my 2nd daughter Sarah (Glenn Close played Sarah Cooper), a bunch of tight knit (but scattered) college friends reunite for the passing (suicide) of their friend Alex. Here is a side note of trivia; Alex (the corpse they are dressing at the opening of the movie) was played by Kevin Costner. He had other scenes, but they were deleted. It is and always will be one of my favorite movies. On its soundtrack (though as far as I can tell, it is nowhere in the movie) is one of my all time favorite classic songs I file under “Mood Music”. Mood Music is the kind of music that just makes you feel a ‘certain’ way. Many of my featured songs of the day will be “Mood Music”. You cannot describe it and don’t understand it but it just puts you in a certain place that is usually pleasant for a variety of reasons.

So, enjoy this few minutes back in time ALSO! Footage of my 3rd FAVORITE! city on the planet! LONDON, England! Yep! Recognized it right away! 🙂  “A Whiter Shade Of Pale” by Procol Harum.

So what is my thought of the day on Friday February 24, 2012? For this ‘star gazed’ California Native, the Oscars have always to me what the Superbowl is to men. So, this Sunday, with popcorn and some candy in hand we will watch the gowns, the hair, who is escorting who, the jewelry and movies we have not even heard of, much less seen, winning award after award. Sadly, this year, Tinsel Town has lost another one of its own at far too young of an age. In fact Whitney Elizabeth Houston made her debut into this mortal earth 14 days before I did. Talk about hitting close to home. One thing we had in common is that we both had some Dutch ancestry (yes, she really did! Check Wikipedia!). We both sang. She had a 3 octave range; I had a 2 octave range in my day. She could belt out songs and became famous; I could sing at a wedding or do decent on a karaoke machine

If stardom is so great and if money cures all worries, why do so many celebrities succumb to the collateral damage that is involved with the price of fame? Is it worth it?  What I do know is upon looking at a picture of a fresh faced ‘new’ artist with ‘big hair’ (we ALL had big hair then) back in 1983 and then seeing a stoned woman leaving a nightclub less than 24 hours before God called her home to which my husband said, “You are the same age, but she could practically pass as your Mother”. Drugs are bad. BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD! Did I say BAD? I choose to remember that fresh faced, beautiful belter that gave so much. As for the National Enquirer posting a picture of her in her casket, whoever leaked that photo, kharma will come around someday. I will leave it at that. The National Enquirer is a rag and not fitting for anything except emergency backup if you run out of toilet tissue or window cleaner wipes. They are bottom feeders and have sunk to an all new low as far as I am concerned.

As for my song of the day, it seems fitting that I should pick my favorite Whitney Houston song as song of the day…. and stay tuned as I am going to try and bring a thought and song of the day each day and other articles! Oh the places we shall go!