Both Sides Now

Tattoos. I have to wonder what all the fuss is about? First I want to make this very clear. I am not putting down tattoos at all. Anyone that knows anything about me knows this: I am very much, ‘live and let live’. As long as your actions are not hurting anyone, C’est la vie. I will say this; There are three things I will say never to; I will *never* reject my Lord and Savior Jesus; I will never drink a boiler maker again; I will never get a tattoo. Let me explain. The reason I do not want a tattoo is probably not what you think.

I am not a ‘spring chicken’. Do not get me wrong…. tho the first hour of the day would suggest otherwise (I walk around the house like a feeble 90 year old…. I almost bought a walker at Goodwill a few weeks ago… for real!) but I am young at heart! I am not ‘old’ in any other way except my fibro makes my body behave old at times but my music, thoughts, views, opinions, humor, etc, are young…. very young.This is not because I am afraid of growing old, but because it is who I am! I have NOTHING against tattoos. In fact some of my favorite people have tattoos 8-D

      So why when I do this

Would I not get a tattoo?

1. Tattoos are permanent. You are marked for life. When/and/or / if I decided I don’t want these piercings, I just take them out. It is as simple as that. There is also a significant reason for why I did this; a story behind it. It represents something to me; something very important.

2. There is an older movie… maybe 20-25 years old called, “Same Time Next Year” starring Alan Alda and Ellen Byrston. It is a fabulous movie, tho very cheesy and a bit of a chick flick. This movie shows all too well the changes that we go through over the years. It is a great movie to watch, if for no other reason, for that. Ten years ago when I was at a pretty low place in my life, I wore mostly black and cranked up heavy metal when I drove to and from my very stressful job. I was a 30 something ‘goth’. I thought I would always be that way. A friend on my team at work assured me it was a phase. Today, I have some black, but I compliment it with jeans. I mostly have bright colors; florals and plaids; cardis and camis. You get the drift. I shudder to think how I would feel if I got a goth tattoo…. I was certain I would stay that way, but I didn’t.  I am old enough now to know the changes you go through in life. Phases. It never stops. You think it does after your teen years. It doesn’t. Life is a continuance of change and growth. We never stall and stay stagnant and that is a good thing! Angelina Jolie, before she was with Brad and before she adopted 1/2 the world, was with Billy Bob Thornton. She got this HUGE tattoo on her arm with Billy Bobs name and some sort of lizard/creature. It took up the whole upper arm. To this day at awards shows, etc when wearing a sleeveless dress, she has that arm covered in makeup….. but it is still there. You can still see it (if you know what you are looking for). Maybe that why she flung her leg out at the Oscars, to get the focus elsewhere? Nah….. but it was worth a try.

3. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS WRONG… this is just for me… kinda like, I love short hair, but not on me sorta thing… I just do not care for them… for me. It looks great on other gals and I wish I could wear it, but it just does not look good on me.  I am not a fan of tattoos. Again, everyone beats to a different drum. It is funny, as a matter of fact, the nicest clerks I get at stores have full sleeve tattoos. Seriously. I have met the nicest people practically covered in tattoos. I have met the most horrible people that have only one ear pierced (woman) and not one piercing or tat (men). For me, I am very ‘soft’ and it just does not fit. I guess my biggest question is what makes tattoos so appealing? Again, not judging, just curious. Almost everyone has at least one. I guess I am just curious and in awe at the same time.

SINCE WE NEED A TATTOO MODEL, I FIGURE MR. JAMES HETFIELD WOULD BE A GREAT MODEL. SERIOUSLY, THE BODY IS ONE THING BUT GETTING CLOSE TO THE FACE OR EVEN ON THE FACE; THAT IS EITHER BRAVE OR SILLY.... OR BOTH!

I am lurking in dangerous waters here…. giving hints to my age…. but here I go…. in High School my favorite group was “Journey”. I still like “Journey”, but they are probably about number 7 or 8…. closer to 10 than 1. That is what I mean by change. Up until the last few years my favorite group was “The Grateful Dead”, they are now #2. My (then) about 4th or 5th favorite group “Coldplay” got instantly bumped to #1 on 9-30-10 when I was driving my one hour commute home on a day that had actually *not* been too stressful (very unusual in the call center business). “Coldplay” as my ‘go-to’ guys for mellow. So as it goes, it was about 6 :40 PM; dusk. I was driving VA 24 east just outside Stewartsville. The song, “Fix You” was on. I as going 5 MPH *under* the speed limit, just winding down after a nice, slow day, looking forward to getting home to my gorgeous, wonderful husband. Suddenly, out of nowhere the car starts shaking. A moment later, for no reason, I am over-correcting and the next thing I know is I am on my roof. Coldplay’s “Fix You” is still there…. like a soft voice to calm me… somehow God let me know it was going to be OK. Then before I knew it, I was back on my tires. The music…. STILL going. Chris Martin’s falsetto, softly soothing me as I slammed the brakes and ended up in the side of a mountain. At that moment, “Coldplay”, taking the roll with me, as you will see me refer to from time to time, became my #1 favorite band. The Dead, still love them, are no #2. What if….what … if….. I had, at some time in the past, gotten a “Grateful Dead” tattoo? Hmmm suppose as of now it would be ‘ok’ since I still really like them. But I have this super bond with “Coldplay” now that I have never felt for a band. This bond is almost big enough to warrant a tattoo. However, no…. I will never get one. I will NEVER reject my Lord. I will never drink another boiler maker. I will never get a tattoo. The first one I think is beyond wrong. The other two… to each their own and I judge not. Maybe sometime I will tell the boiler maker story. I was 20…..sure glad I did not get a tattoo then, or really at any age. I am not the same person I as then or that I was at 30 and I am *certainly not* the same person I was ten years ago, two years ago or even a year ago. I would LOVE to hear from people about tattoos and the fascinated with them! Remember, this is not a judgement of any way, shape or form. Just not for me on my body. Some of the greatest people in my life have tattoos! We are all individuals and in the end, we have the right to express ourselves in any way we want as long as it is not profane and does not hurt anyone else.

The song for today, so apros pos is “Fix You” by Coldplay (if this is a repeat, I apologize, I just really have to use this song for obvious reasons!)

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI-o25K6B-E&ob=av2n

Until next time, K.

Love. Love is probably the most loaded emotion in all of mankind. “Love makes the world go ’round” they say. It is the center of songs, movies, TV shows, Broadway plays, Holidays and many other things. Retailers love…. well, love. It fattens their wallets with their $4 and $5 pieces of papers with pressed flowers and pretty poems, over and over, worded just slightly different in each card. Flowers, candy, perfume, etc. are also on top of the ‘things to buy’ all in the name of love.

There are, however, so many types of love. There is the traditional ‘partner’ love….. as in couples whether man and woman or any other couple type relationship. There is parent / child, child/parent, the love we feel for friends (and even then there is a tier between close friends and casual acquaintance type friends), love for extended family members, love for pets, love for mankind in general and the list could go on.

The deeper loves…. or what we equate to deeper loves…. are supposed to be unconditional. However, I pose this question to the universe: If God could send His only son to die a horrible, gruesome death on an old rugged cross for us… all of us….how is it that we can become so pissed off at those we ‘love’ that we hold such a grudge that we never ‘want to talk to them again’? Some might say, “Well Kelli, isn’t that what you did to your Mom?” and the answer is a NO! My Mom, tis no secret, had a disease that made having a relationship with her, difficult at best. I tried to maintain a contact but she severed each and every contact and relationship she had and that is *all* I am going to say about that except that I forgave her for everything. When I did, it felt like a 1000 lb elephant was lifted off my shoulders. But see, I *loved* my Mom. What I have to truly, really wonder with people that get stuck in the past is if they ever truly, really loved the person they now hate. Maybe, as hate is the opposite of love. Over the years I continued sending my Mom pictures and letters. I found some of the things I had sent her when I was in California when she passed in September. Most people, at any given moment in time, really are doing the very best they can just to survive. They do not make a mistake that hurts a relationship because they get pleasure and great joy out of hurting others… especially those they love most in the world. Sadly, that is just the collateral damage that comes with being human and making mistakes.

If you love someone, you should do so without conditions. If conditions are set, you have to ask, is this really love and/or did I really ever truly *LOVE* this person? For me… the ones I love… nothing will ever change that….. NOTHING. Love, for me, is unconditional.

One thing I like about and her Adele is the way her songs can be about romantic love or any kind of love, so for today the song of the day is from Adele. Enjoy:

Until next time…. K…….

Next time I’ll be braver, I’ll be my own savior
When the thumb that cost me
Next time I’ll be braver, I’ll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J4L4FP1WDY

The Righteous Brothers sang it best in “Rock And Roll Heaven”, If you believe in forever, then life is just a one-night stand
If there’s a rock and roll heaven
Well you know they’ve got a hell of a band.

     I rarely tear up when a celebrity passes. Honestly I think Princess Diana may be the last well known person I shed a tear for. However, I felt my eyes tearing up last night when Paul said, “Dick Clark won’t be on ‘Rockin New Years’……” and, well the rest as they say is history. Dick Clark was so much more than ‘just’ a celebrity…. he was an icon. I found myself missing my Dad. See Dad and I had our ‘things’ we talked about. We would talk about politics and even though Dad and I did not agree on some things, we respected each others right to believe as we wished.  The other thing we talked  about quite often was “The Twilight Zone”. We would bring up certain episodes and slice and dice them like a deranged pathologist on a busy night. And then there was Dick Clark…. Dad and I talked about how that man never aged. He retained that youthful looking face, forever! We would ponder on how he maintained that youthful look even after his stroke.

I have never known a world without Dick Clark. For me it was “American Bandstand” after my Saturday morning cartoons and the weekly countdown of the top fifty songs in the USA on every Sunday morning. Then there was New Year Eve. Being the big party girl I am…. *Laughing till it hurts*…… you can find me every New Years eve in my favorite jammies or sweats (probably my P*I*N*K sweats from Victoria’s Secret with Christmas money) vegging out on the couch , snuggled with my honey waiting for the ball to drop. I feel robbed because New Years of 2012, I was in the throws of a near week long migraine (after being put on medication I had a bad reaction to). I was awake to watch Dick countdown…. never on beat since his stroke, but bless his heart, he was there and that was what mattered. I truly mean this when I say New Years will *never* be the same for me, ever.

So as Dick finds his place in Rock and Roll Heaven, we must say goodbye, for now, to a legend. It is sad and no one can ever replace him. However, the mark he left in the world of Rock and Roll will forever make him a legend.

I am leaving you with two songs; first a tribute; “The Bandstand Boogie”  and “The Righteous Brothers”, “Rock and Roll Heaven”. These are dedicated to you Dick! You will forever be in our Rock and Roll Hearts <3 Godspeed, sir!

Until next time, K.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IEemZ6-LZc

and…..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe96JObaA80

Years ago, in the days of  ‘chat rooms’ and message boards (do such things still exist?), anyone who took part in these internet hot spots probably at one time or another got involved in an internet ‘flame war’.  Remember back in the day when your friends in the neighborhood would pick one unlucky kid of the week to pick on? The week in which you were the kid really sucked. However, everyone made up until the next kid was voted off the neighborhood island for a few days. I did my tour of duty (call center employment where gossip is an *understatement*)…. I used to sit there and watch the ‘in group’ look at people and talk, talk, talk behind backs. I was not immune. I know they thought I was oblivious to the gossip crap at both the bank and Liberty Medical….. especially Liberty….. but I was not, not, so not going to get caught in the sad and childish nature of backstabbing and I never will.

So what happens when you post something harmless…. something you think is ‘neat’ and you get attacked? So you defend yourself and the guy grows fangs. So you delete a harmless picture (not aimed at anyone). I have enough troubles in my life, I am not going to sit there and have some ‘know it all jerk’ ruin my peace over something really stupid! Yet he has to go on and PM me and attack me further… over a picture; a non-partial picture which he did not agree with my (and numerous other peoples) interpretation of.  It is like, “Dude, pick your battles, really!”. When I removed the post he could not leave well enough alone…. no, he had to personally attack me and use curse words (which is a class 4 misdemeanor in VA). I have not decided what I am doing with it yet. If he had just left it alone when I deleted the post. But no… and that is why I am considering pressing charges…. tho not 100% yet. Lucky, I have it on message. It is right there for anyone to read and that is not hearsay.

I don’t have time for creeps and jerks. If I speak with someone or friend them it is because I find them nice, neat, caring and trustworthy. I also watch EVERYTHING I say to anyone on the Internet if I am not 150% sure about my trust in them. Personally, I think people like that have low self-esteem and have to put other people down to make him/herself look better.

So my song for the day is for all the fake people out there….. whether you are an internet bully or doing any sort of ‘stretching’ of the truth… one of my faves by Radiohead. And no, I DID NOT pick this video because one of the babies in the middle of it is wearing red with white polka dots! The song stands on its own awesome merit, but the cute baby was just a nice little polka dot coincidence! Enjoy. Until next time. K.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKd06s1LNik

Love. It makes the world go ’round. When you think about it, what is everything we do centered around? Holidays, get-aways, Sundays, nights, work, EVERYTHING. It is all centered around being with people we love. Whether it is romantic, parent for child, family, friends or anything else we can think of. However, with love, also comes the capacity for hurt. It is easiest to get hurt by those who we hold closest to our hearts. Think about it. If some jerk I don’t know says something hateful to me, is that really going to offend me as much as if someone I care about says it? No, of course not, However, it does not make us immune to both hurting or being hurt by those we love . Of course we would never do this on purpose. However sometimes it just happens.

My song of the day for people who have ever unintentionally  hurt someone you live is Damien Rice’s “Cannonball”. I LOVE this song. The video is a little weird, but get past that and listen:

Until next time……….

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it’s not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yqM–IMkX4

I am not old, but I am not a spring chicken! So when we get something new and shiny that is electronic,  happy as I am to the the last person to finally have what everyone else has, it is all so overwhelming at first.

I am a hands on learner. So I have to just get in a do and usually within a few weeks I am plucking and moving with the best of them.

However, at first, it is trying to say the least. My hubby is great but for some reason, his nerves can be short with me. He is the most patient man with the kids, granddaughter, and friends. However, with me, not so much. Part of my issue is it all the brain fog I deal with from my fibromyalgia. It is frustrating to say the least.

In any event, the song of the day is by my favorite 90′s band, The Goo Goo Dolls, “Dizzy”, live from Woodstock ’08  and boyya! Did I forget how delicious Johnny Rzeznik is (lead singer). I was never really into blondes, but can make an exception

I think I should get out “Dizzying Up The Girl” and give it a listen.

Until next time, K.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqrz2ClYGes

  Just over a year ago, when I had to file for my disability, my husband and I became OINKS, One Income, “No Kids”. What I mean by “No kids” is, in our case, our kids (my four girls) are all grown and self sufficient. Going from DINKS (Double Income, “No Kids”), to OINKS meant even more money crunching than we were already trying to do. Besides being down to one income, my medical costs were getting worse (hence, when the question ‘where the money go’ pops up and your co pays for your medications are $200 and, in fact you quit taking some of them because you just cannot afford it, let the ones who question walk in your shoes).  We did the obvious; move into town (lower living and gas costs), 10 minutes from Paul’s work, downsized to one car…. one reliable car (yes, this means a car note, but the car is not in the shop every other month with $200+ in repairs). Also, our car gets great gas mileage which means with our 30+ MPG (in town) along with our reward points we used through Kroger (sometimes getting up to seventy cents a gallon off!), we really save in this most important time of all, fuel wise. Also car insurance is one car only!

We also did not opt to get a land line when we moved. The only reason we had it in the ‘country’ is that there was no option for high speed internet. That is obviously not the problem now. There are many things I have learned to do to cut cost. I am happy to share some:

1. We invested in cloth napkins (inexpensive, not fancy). I do a load of laundry nearly everyday, and even if I don’t, there are 12 napkins so plenty for 2 -3 days for Paul and I. If it is a holiday, I make sure they are all washed up. If there is a lot of people, I will splurge and buy paper, but I invested in 12 cloth and think they have already paid for themselves three times over!

2. Make your own ice! We invested in a couple of ice trays which were $1.10 a piece. Though I buy water bottled (but will be investing in a Brita pitcher this payday), I just pour the drinking water into the ice trays and keep them going throughout the day. It takes seconds and saves loads of money as well as natural resources.

3. Dryer Sheets! They make them too big! You do not need all that ‘power’ in one punch. I cut mine in half. I have rarely had any issue with cling. So if it says 80 sheets, you really get 160 and so on. Same with detergent; only use about 2/3 of what it calls for. They have you over use on purpose. I heard this on a talk show years ago but never acted on it. I decided to give it a try and our clothes come out just as clean and static free.

4. Scan the meat section/ whatever you buy ‘a lot of ‘/ staples for mark downs. Here is a good example. Paul and I like both ground turkey and ground chuck. We happened to come across two GIANT tubes of ground chuck that was still 3 days shy of its best by date. It was 1/2 price. So we got sixteen pounds of ground chuck for $16.oo. Obviously we split it out and froze it when we got home, however, we had enough hamburger for weeks! It felt like we hit the lottery!

5. Don’t over buy, especially produce! We used to throw things out and I hated it! We decided to shop two to three times a week, especially for produce.

6 ALWAYS compare unit price!!!!! Sometimes the bulk is NOT the best buy! I also shop the ads and plan my menu according to them. Chicken breasts (bone in) were on special this last week at Kroger, so Paul and I are having a lot of chicken this week!

7. Shop clearance racks and thrift stores! Some of the cutest things I have were bought for just a few dollars! Also buy things that can mix and match! You will be thrilled at the number of outfits you can get when you play with different colors!

8. Painful as it may be, you may have to have a “come to the river” meeting with yourself. I did and realized I was spending a lot of money on diet cola. So I decided, while one or two a day is OK, six is not so much. I have worked hard to get down to one or two a day and those that know me well should be proud of me! I now supplement with iced herbal tea and enjoy it very much!

I will add more hints as I think of them!

The song for today…. a long time favorite that goes WAY back, in honor of “saving for a rainy day”, the rainy Saturday morning I woke up to and my sunny home-state :

Until next time, K.

Sorry for the break. I try for at  least 5 new posts a week. I had a near life-long (since 7th grade) friend visit over the weekend. It was wonderful. We have both lived in various places all over the USA but have always managed to keep in touch.

I was not quite sure how I would ‘do’ with my fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome being so bad now. People have two reactions to these conditions 1. Just push yourself; quit being negative (I am actually, at times as my husband Paul agrees, like a grown up version of the character “Sue” in the show “The Middle”). I am a geek…. an optimist who thinks, “Everyone is just so nice, etc”.

That is who I really am, inside….. an eternal optimist that likes most people. So I am far from being negative. 2. People who completely understand, see what tole its taken on me and are fine with it. Understanding. Patient.

It was with that idea that when Paul and I got into ‘this’ conversation…. again….. about people that do not ‘like you for no particular reason, than not to like you’. I tried to put the shoe on the other foot, and told Paul if someone I did not like asked me, I would be honest. Now I am not talking about ex’s or obvious dislikes. I am talking about people we have to co exist with. Do you know I could not think of ANYONE in  my life right now that I flat out DO NOT like. The closest I could get was one person who can ‘annoy’ me a bit. And I don’t even see this person that much. However, if this person came to me and wanted honesty as to why they annoyed me, I would tell them in a nice and constructive way. So when talking to Paul about someone who really does not know me, has never really taken time to get to know me and pretty much treats me like I am non existent when I am around them, he says I will never ‘get an answer’. Look, like me; don’t like me. However, if you do NOT like someone, at least give them the decency of a reason. Just my opinion, for what it is worth.

My friend who was here (paraphrase) stated she only keeps a few close friends and the rest she cannot be bothered with. I think of our friends that we really consider friends and it is so true. One thing I do know is my friend is a true friend. She was OK with the fact that I had to take a nap Friday and Saturday. She was more than ok, she was like a sister….. about ready to pound me to sit down as the ‘Italian mother’ in me was trying to feed everyone and make sure everyone had everything they needed. See true friends, and family that love you unconditionally accept that you are not perfect. They forgive you when you apologize with a sincere heart. Most important, they embrace you when you need a soft place to fall! They also understand when you are not running at 100%. I am so thankful to have a friend like that in my life and other friends too…. a handful… they know who they are but they are amazing and wonderful!

Song of the day, very appropriate! I just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this little diddy! It is uplifting and happy! It makes me want to get up and dance about!  We need more peace in the world. We need more forgiveness. We need more caring. We need Care, Compassion and true, unconditional LOVE.

Until next time. K.

     Polka Dots! They are just so…. HAPPY! Yes, happy. Bouncy. Invigorating. When you sing to the song, you follow the bouncing ball which is really a polka dot in disguise! Can you imagine singing Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway To Heaven” while following a bouncing ball/polka dot! =:-O

Wanting a generic ‘door hanger’ (you know, for the time of year that ‘nothing’ is going on), I embarked on my quest and my first invention was born. From there the ideas just flooded in like a river! The only thing that remains the same is that no two creations are exactly the same! Paul was so dazzled by the door hanger, we are keeping it for our indoor and alas, I will make another ‘generic’ (out) door hanger. The sky is really the limit. Picture frames, trinket boxes, etc. It does not have to be dots; it can be shells or stars or squares or an eclectic mixture. Color schemes are nearly infinite. I found three basics for the ribbon and added my two favorite colors (sea foam green and coral), also added a pretty baby blue and went from there. If interested, contact me and let me know what you have in mind! It can be simple ranging from $5 to totally elaborate and I will work with you on cost to make it as low as possible.

A song of the day that goes PERFECT with polka dots is this little diddy straight from Ireland. There is this competition called “Eurovision”. Paul introduced me to this bouncy little love balled many moons ago. Dana was actually from Northern Ireland which is part of the United Kingdom, but……. in 1970 (this was BIG schtuff back in the day), they ‘let her’ compete for the “Republic of Ireland” as they decided the ‘island’ of Ireland could compete as a separate unit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Kinds_of_Everything

So enjoy a sweet song, “All Kinds of Everything” by Dana

The last “Thought of the Day” was on decisions. I did want to take this a bit higher and heavier than usual for here by posing a question. If you could, would you hand pick/pick out different parents than you have/ had? I am going to assume for the most part that if you are reading this particular little spot in cyber space, your parents are not. While I welcome all the readers (as all authors do!), it just stands by sheer reason that it is unlikely it is a safe place to answer that question even if it is in the confines of your own mind. Both of my parents are gone. I just lost the last of my Grandma’s siblings right before Thanksgiving. God gave me such a gift by allowing me a wonderful visit with her when I ironically was back home, in California, mid September for my Mothers memorial. Therefore, I could truly answer this question with no real worry of  ‘hurting’ anyone. Most people that know anything about me know there were nearly lifelong ‘issues’ with my Mom and issues of with my Dad of not ‘rescuing’ me from the ‘issues’. It probably makes no sense (unless you know the exact situation), and that is OK because I am very much with my ‘new’ counselor in the thought of concentrating on the hear and now and the future while not getting stuck in the past.

So, would I hand pick Mike and Carol Brady? Well, after reading “Growing Up Brady” many years ago, I know know the actor behind Mike lived a life of lies because he was gay and back in the 1960′s (unless you were Rock Hudson), that meant the death of your career (I am relaying info, not saying it was ‘right’ because it was NOT!). Carol Brady dated Greg in real life. Now he was 18…. barely…. and they only had a few dates…. however……My point is, the only ‘normal’ thing about the Bradys was; NOTHING!

No, I would not have had ANY other parents than Gary and Carol (‘nee Ivester) Coleman Bates. My Dad taught me so much. He taught me that as shy and awkward (I do not think I have a graceful bone in my body and I really am shy under all this !), that I can talk to anyone, anywhere. I remember how he used to sit on the floor and play dress up with my girls while I would sit on his big leather couch and ‘veg out’. They would dress him up in their “Princess clothes”, complete with crown and all.  Now I sit with my granddaughter and do the same. I wouldn’t have it any other way! He never asked me for anything gift wise…. except for his yearly ration of fudge. And I guess I should have said no because of his diabetes. I just did not have the heart.

My Mom taught me the art of giving the most kick-butt birthday party on the most limited of funds. Before things got really bad, they were really good. The year we went to girl scout camp……to earn our camping badge……. at Avila Beach, CA (and got car sick and threw up in the backseat of my dear friend Sheila Mom’s car), my Mom spent that weekend making Barbie Doll clothes. I would get them on my next birthday. The thing that has me in awe of that is I have zero patience with fiddly little things like that. I don’t do not know how she handled making all those clothes, including a bridal gown, complete with train, with sequins sewn on by hand. The one thing I do know about my Mom is this; if nothing else, her heart was always in the right place. Sure, she usually acted in situations that put ‘her’ first. But one thing a 12 year old….not wanting to change schools….. amplifies, is how everything ‘affected’ her. I am sure some of the ‘horrible’ and ‘miserable’ things I remember, I am over-blowing just a bit.

I reckon we all want perfect, or as near to perfect parents as possible. Parents are people, nonetheless, and people are human. It is so easy to ‘rag out’ on our parents for this and that and that and this. Less we forget that our parents loved us at times when we were, perhaps, a little trying to love (at least I know I was)? Last but the very least, God gave the ultimate sacrifice. Yet, no matter how much we may (or may not, on the flip side) disappoint Him, aren’t you glad He loves us when we are not always easy to love?

Finally, it has taken me a long….. a very long….. time to like the Kelli I am today. Decisions. Nope….. I do like who I am today. Although that has taken prayer, counseling and a lot of determination, one thing is certain; I would not be who I am if I had not had the parents I had. So thank you Mom and Dad. In a society that likes to hen-peck every mistake we make, this time around, I am just going to say….Thank you. Until next time, K.

The song for today is about decisions. It is by the MOST AWESOME! Dave Matthews Band: “The Space Between”

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